Ha Ha Ho Ho & Hee Hee

A few weeks ago, Mary at The Dogfathers blog tagged us to participate in "Five Things I Laugh At, But Shouldn't."

Now, this assignment presents something of a challenge. It's not that Buzz is perfect, no flaws to speak of...its that his flaws are serious. Buzz is 99% a good, steady boy, but that outside 1% bit of bad, anxious dog-ness is directed at people, has teeth, and I have never found it funny. It something to work on, think about, help him with, not something to laugh at or dismiss.

Then of course, there are all the laughs I get out of harmless things...the way Buzz loves his rainbow ball, the way he and Tessa lick each other's tongues, the way his butt wiggles when the neighbor's girls circle him and pet him and call him a pretty boy. I laugh at these and I should!

Well, I finally think I cracked it. A list of things I laugh at that I probably shouldn't.

1. Lauren and Buzz.

Buzz loves her. He kisses her. He jumps on her. He runs across the yard, leaps in the air, and licks her face as he sails by. He doesn't listen to her. He knocks into her. He invades her space totally and completely. According to Buzz, Lauren has no boundaries. We've tried to sort out why Lauren gets treated this way...it is probably partly her size (she's 5'1" with an itty bitty build), partly that she loves him back and is almost sort of okay with this treatment, partly that I have no idea how to effectively intercede. It's really unfair. And funny.

2. Buzz raids the trash bin.
Why is this funny? Because he's just looking for Puffs Plus to eat. They are like some kind of delicacy to him. Gross. And funny.



3. Booty-ful greeting of other dogs.

Do you see what is happening here? Buzz's butt is as high as he can get it and his shoulder is on the ground. He greets most dogs either this way or by laying down. It's really pathetic, and also misleading, since Buzz's play-style is not submissive.

4. Is this new? Let me smell it.


Buzz loves to smell the groceries, the mail, anything new that comes in the house. I think he thinks he's the inspector general of the household, needing to approve of all additions.

5. You give Buzz an inch, he takes a yard.
So, Buzz knows he's not allowed on this bench.

But I invited him up there for a photograph.
He then decided that all forbidden surfaces were okay and jumped onto the kitchen table.

So naughty. So funny.

Alright, so I'm going to tag The Big Red Dog Blog with this meme. She's got one fabulous dog (with a Buzz Lightyear costume!) and six sassy cats, so I bet she'll be able to think of five things more quickly than I did!

Oh, and my Buzz is not named after Buzz Lightyear, but rather for how he's always buzzing about and also for the astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Though I'm told Buzz Lightyear is also named after Buzz Aldrin. Still, the hegemonic masculinity of that toy plus his imperialistic catchphrase...not what I was going for. Speed, smarts, that's what.

wordless wednesday ~4~

Beers in the Backyard

Ah yes, spring has sprung. While I love winter, when it leaves me I get over it pretty quickly. Because there are many things to enjoy about the next guy. This spring character.

Better light to fill Buzz’s beautiful brown eyes.


Birds that chirp all day.

The ability to feel my face after walking the dog.

Good stuff.

In the winter, letting the dog out and playing with him a bit each evening can feel very choresome (that is probably not a word, but I don’t care). In the spring, going in the yard with the dog is awesome.
Because I take a beer with me.
And sit in the sunshine.
And Buzz just plays with his soccer ball and his sticks.
And then he comes over and sits by me and smiles.
He gets muddy maybe, but it is worth it.
For the sun and the beer and the birds.


Sometimes, we even have company for the evening unwinding. Tessa loves to come and play with Buzz.


Hi Tessa!


Can you wear my dog out for me?


Brilliant!


Tessa seems to learn a lot by watching other dogs. Like that you can jump to catch a ball! Or, that Nylabones are fun to chew on. She has yet to figure out how to play Buzz’s favorite game, but she’s been watching closely.


Maybe someday she’ll learn this extra-stupid, ever-so-funny hiking game. It’s Buzz’s favorite. It should go on his tombstone when he dies in one million years: “Here lies Buzz / He liked to hike things between his legs.”


Sometimes Buzz pauses from this hiking game to play fetch or sit on his table.


This particular day was the first really warm day and Buzz hadn’t even begun to blow his winter coat. And he hiked the ball a hundred times, played a lot of fetch, and wrestled like a madman with Tessa.


Both dog were getting a bit hot. But especially Buzz. Frequent trips to the water bucket were made.


Eventually, Buzz just lay down in the dirt by the water bucket, taking occasional sips.


Then I noticed that Buzz was using his nose to push the edge of the bucket over. Before I even had time to shoot a picture or grab the dog, he had dumped a gallon of cold water into the dirt, scratched the dirt up to make mud, and started to roll in it.


ARE YOU SEEING THIS???


Are you laughing? Because I was.
The aforementioned beer probably help me find the funny.
But seriously, the freakin’ dog made mud to roll around in and then went to town on it before I could say boo.

It is actually kind of genius of him. If a dog is in danger of overheating my dog book recommends applying cool (not COLD) water to the head, neck, chest and abdomen--either in a dunk tank or by using wet towels.

Notice that Buzz got most of his nice, cool mud on his abdomen.


Yep, now he’s even doing his own first aid.

Also notice, that he wanted to play some more after this hot episode...not such a genius after all!

I ended up taking him inside and giving him a nice tepid bath. Yes, Buzz got a bath. Which he almost never gets, but he ground in that mud really well, so the usual plan--waiting for it to dry and then brushing it out—wasn’t going to work. Plus, I wanted to make sure he was cooled off and the water was a good way to accomplish that.

Right Buzz?


Uh-oh, looks like Buzz has been reading the adventures of the canine mafia!

Set in his ways...

his bouncey, crazy ways!

Here's a video of Buzz's afternoon routine, when I come home from work and let him out into the yard.



hopefully, the embedding will work, but if not here is the direct link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4TGKbn6j-o

: )

Reason #6 Buzz is a supermodel

He is always looking into the middle distance.
You know, like Superman, looking into the spot that is neither far nor near.


It creates tension in the photo.

Super. Model.

There was a week in November where

everything was the biggest


and Buzz liked it.

Guess who isn't feeling so hot?

It's this guy. Buzz, A.K.A. Little Mr. Gonna-steal-bread-dough-and-eat-it!

Look closely: in addition to the sad face and dead eyes, there are drool bubbles on the baby's chin. : (

Sometimes, for a special treat, I bake my own bread. And normally I don't even give a second thought to Buzz being around the dough while it is rising, because he is very good about respecting human food. Probably because he's properly nourished (yay for raw feeding!), but also because I really do not like it when dogs beg or even watch humans eat, so he's always had very clear direction from me on this point; he ignores human food or he gets put in another room (worst punishment ever!) As such, you can sit next to Buzz on the couch and eat a sandwich. You can even set your food on the coffee table for a second and run to the bathroom. Buzz will leave it alone.

Well, not today. Today I was making rye bread. And Buzz couldn't resist. So, I go in the kitchen to see how the dough is doing and find that Buzz has knocked the pizza peel on the floor and has eaten all the dough.

Yeah. Not good. A pound of rising dough is now in my dog's stomach. That's gonna be a big problem very soon. A softball-sized ball of dough is gonna try to get to the size of a football in Buzz's tummy. Bad.

Time to induce vomiting. To induce vomiting in a dog, you put one teaspoon of hydrogen peroxide for each ten pounds of dog into their stomach (at 60 pounds, Buzz gets 2 tablespoons). You can use a turkey baster or syringe. I just poured the hydrogen into this little creamer, then tipped Buzz's head up and poured the stuff into his mouth.


Then, we went outside to wait for the hydogen peroxide to get all bubbly and gross feeling so that Buzz would ker-kakk. Well, he did. Like 5 times. It was a lot of dough. I shoveled the dough into the trash; made sure Buzz was done puking, then brought him inside. Now, Buzz looks like this.



Part of me feels sorry for the guy. Part of me is still craving fresh rye bread and knows she isn't going to get it! Gah!

Happy happy joy joy!

Buzz and I don't really go in for any of the winter holidays. We like Thanksgiving best. Food, fun, family, football...Thanksgiving is the tops.

Even though we don't really join in, it is fun to see all the excitement around us at this time of year. Especially when it is focused on finding joy, having fun, seeing friends and family, and eating cookies.

We believe in joy.


We believe in having fun.


We believe in friends and family.


Most of all we believe in cookies. Oh yes, we believe in lots of cookies.


We do not, for the record, believe in burrs
.
.
.
but, they believe in us!


We wish all of our readers happiness, joy, and peace!


See you in 2009!

Low tech & mellow

My computer is not yet fixed, so no quality images today. Instead, I've gone low-tech on you and have loaded some images from my cell phone.

These snapshots aren't so great, but they do offer a different glimpse into Buzz's world than usual because my cell phone's camera can focus on things that are really close to the lens, such as Buzz, resting his head on my chest, watching me watch TV.



Head on my stomach as I continue to watch television:


Hanging his head off of the futon:


Taking a nap...zzzzzzzzzzzz...


And finally, waking up, wiggling about and stretching out!